>three consecutives (well. not really)

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10September

… I cannot sleep. Maybe this has something to do with what am I doing tomorrow. I feel somewhat nervous because until now, there are still regrets. Yah. I am not certain yet of what I am doing with myself tomorrow. Plus I feel bad about this thing right now too. And I feel bad because I have so many reasons to feel badddddddd.

Yah got too many to even write them all down. Ummm….my acads considered of course. I feel this way every sem. Plus *. Shit! I don’t deserve to feel this way. And I know I’m not supposed to feel this way! Fate has been too unfair to me really. I would stop writing about love shits ok.

But my only other option is that if I could get a sleep.

12Sept

I feel better now. One day after that idontreallyknow. Physical pain will always feel better than those that stand in our emotions. ‘coz those pains will last until… until when? I don’t know.. maybe forever. Yah, that they could be haunting you until forever.. shit realities of life.
Moving on could be the one answer also… you can consider that an option. Not that easy to move on though. Takes a lot of everything. But one has to! (you have to) And if you are reading this right now you go get yourself a grip and do. Do move on!

13September

Morning and raindrops. Nothing much. Nothing new. Still as depressed as I used to be. Only that I feel more depressed right now. I feel all these shit realities of life again!!!!! I feel there are no good things left behind my grasp!!!!! And I feel so damn sad right now! Because of how I empathize with others’ sufferings maybe?! I don’t know. I only know that I feel damned right now because those important people in my life are feeling damned too. Wish I could do something for them. As much as I wish I could do something for myself!!!!!! Maybe it’s a shit reality to go against what fate direts someone… don’t really know.. I don’t believe much in things like fate. Is there really such thing as fate? Well, another question seeking answers that I don’t know…may not have any meaning or any significance after all? I wish everything would turn “right�. on their pproper places I mean. Wish everyone would feel good already. Wish for them. For myself as well.

What if God was one us? The song playing on the radio right now. Though the CDs jumping it still makes acceptable to the ear quality. It says “dying is great�. If that is true, then I wish I’d be dead.