Si Superman at ang 90 Php mong pansine

Nanood ka na ba ng superman? O kung hindi pa, alam kong manonood ka sooner or later kasi, baka nappresseure ka ng society dahil sa superman fever, o kaya favorite super hero mo si Superman ever since. Pero patok siya noh? Bakit kaya? Bakit ba patok si Superman, sa yo, sa kanya, at sa lahat?!?

Nagsimula ang kuwento ko ni Superman kanina. Galing ako ng Sunset Estate pauwi to my home after my work. Madilim at may mangilan-ngilang pagpatak ng ulan. Naglakad ako patungo sa sakayan ng jeep pa-Nepo. Nakarating naman naman ako ng safe kahit madaming talahib sa linakaran ko. Sumakay ako sa almost empty na jeep. Tatlo lang kaming babaeng pasahero at ako lang ang babae sa likod at dalawa pang unidentified. Maya-maya, sumampa ang apat na mamang maton. Malalaki at gadambuhala kasi ang mga katawan nila na talagang katatakutan mo nga mangyari man sa yo yun… ayun, naghanda na lang ako sa maaaring mangyari. Seryoso akong nag-aabang sa baril na tututok o sa cutter na kung pano nila gagamitin e diskarte na nila… at iyon nga, sa gitna ng takot ko, nag-usap ang mga maton. . .

Maton 1: blah blah blah…*superman*
Maton 2: kahit mahangin nasa ayos pa rin
Maton 1: gel ang gamit ni superman pare
Maton 3: (biglang sabat) hindi pare, pomada yun pare, pansin mo, pomada!!
Maton 2: hindi pare, gel yun.
Maton 4: (na hindi na yata nakatiis sa usapan) mga wala pala kayo e, spray net yun!!! Kaya nga matigas, tignan nyo kasi!!!!

. . . .At parang may narinig pa akong “grrrr” pagkatapos.

Back to the question: Bakit ba patok si Superman, sa yo, sa kanya, at sa lahat?!?
Well. . .
Malamang, it must be the fact na lahat tayo ay character sa Superman. May bida, may kontrabida, at meron din naming yung mga normal na character lang. Yun bang, mga pangkaraniwang tao lang sa totoong buhay. Pero, anu’t ano pa man, patok si Superman sayo, sakin, at sa kanila kase, lahat tayo, ano man ang role natin, mapaprotagonist, antagonist, supporting, o mapa extra man yan, nasa picture tayo ng Superman! Pare-pareho tayong character in a sense na katulad ng lahat, pare-pareho tayong naghahanap ng picture ng isang hero sa buhay buhay natin. Na kahit ano pa role natin sa kinabibilangan nating movie, we long for this certain hero picturesque na siguro, pupuno sa mga weaknesses natin at hahango sa atin out of our desperations (wee!).

. . . iyon nga si Superman. At kaya mahal ng lahat ang Superman. At mayaman na ang producer ng superman.


##
at counterpart naman ng mga superhero movies ang mga fairy tales. Sina Cinderella at Snow White, pihado kilala mo…ano naman kaya ang isuue sa mga Cinderella-stories?!? Huwell…gusto mo sila kase… sa mga kuwentong katulad ng kina Cinderella at Snow White , doon lang parang may excuse para mangyari o di mangyari ang mga things things.lagging may excuse. Higit pa riyan, dahil sa mga kuwentong tulad nito, walang imposible, lahat pwedeng mangyari. Ang imposible ay pwedeng maging possible. Sa mga simpleng kwentong tulad ng sa kanila nagiging masaya ang mga deserve maging masaya. At hindi mahirap magpatawad. Parang hindi deeply inflicted ang mga pain sa mga tao kahit mukhang katangahang painfulness na nainflict sa kanila. Higit sa lahat, iisa lang ang patutunguhan ng ending: “and they lived happily ever after. . . ” Happy ending.

rainy days at ipis

There is only one distinct thing that I love about June, the rain. I love the rain! After a long wait in the middle of summer days, heavy rain drops start to fall in June.

Sa kabila ng mga nasabi ko kanina, madami naman akong ayaw kapag dating na ng tag-ulan. . . I have one thousand reasons why I hate rainy days. Alam mo kung bakit? Panahon nakasi ng mga bago naming alaga sa bahay. Season na nila to shine! At alam mo ba kung ano mga bgo naming mga alaga??!?! IPIS!!!!!! Siyyeeeett!!!! That counts 1000x. haaay… sumasakit ang dibdib ko sa kakaisip kung pano papatayin mga nagkalat na isip sa paligid!!! Hay hay!!!! Ano ba ang tawag sa ipis phobia? Ah basta, kung ano man un, meron ako ng phobiang ganun. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako takot sa ipis. Buti na lang ngayon, nagiimprove na ang pagkatao ko pag nakikipag eye to eye contact sa akin ang mga alaga namin..hindi na ko sumisigaw. Hindi talaga ako takot sa insekto at kung anu, ano pang gross na nilalalang, ipis lang talaga promise…kahit palaka keri kong hawakan at mga patay na pusa at mga hmmm… ano pa nga ba? Back to ipis ulit, ayun, nakakatakot talaga sila. Kung sinusuri ko ng masinsinan ang structure nila, kinikilabutan ako. (nakatayo ang mga balahibo ko habang sinusulat ito) At lalo akong nawawalan ng sense of self bilang si marian kapag naiimagine ko na paano kaya kung nagging mas malalaking creatures sila? Ummm…mga sinlaki ng aso’t mga pusa, ganun…. Hahaaaay!!!! Madami siguro ang hihimatayin araw-araw at magkukulang ang mga crowded ng ospital sa Pilipinas… tapos with flying abilities pa sila!!! WHAPPAK! Wala na silang mahihiling pa! Completely armed na sila sa pagteterorize sa earth.. ewan ko ba, bakit ang mga daga, at mga langgam hindi ko pinagiisipan ng ganito.. hindi ako takot sa langgam pero may kilala akong takot sa mga to, kakagaling nga lang niya sa military school. Walang halong joke.

Haaay… mahal ang insecticide, bahala na nga,! Sa ngayon, naiisip ko lang si Bob Ong at ang mg adventures niya sa mga hinayupak na ipis.


O eto, serious mode naman… try ko..haha!!
Ayun,..


Kung tutuusin, kapag bored tayo at walang magawa, kesa mag-drugs, pwede nating ianalyze ang tag-ulan sa dalawang basic na aspeto. Ang 2 meaning nito, ligaya at lumbay. Tentenent…tentenenent… woohoo!!!

First step ng analyzation. May mga bulaklak bang bumubuka pagsapit ng tag-ulan? Siguro wala, o malamang madalang noh? Pero kung bulaklak ang tingin mo sa mga ulap, tag-ulan ang panahon nila ng pagbuka. Ang saya noh? Kung titingin ka sa langit habang umuulan, maiisip mong parang punumpuno ka ng mga bulaklak sa paligid..tapos yung mga petals nila, nagliliparan sa harap mo sa form ng raindrops, humahalimuyak sa bango!! Hmmm…

Pero on the pessimist view, para silang mga luha ng isang masakit na taghoy na patuloy sa pagbuhos pagkat patuloy ang masakit na pakiramdam at mg ala-ala.. para silang kinimkim at inipong sakit ng loob na dahil masyado ng mabigat, kailangan ng bumuhos at maghanap ng sasalong mga palad.


Teka, ano pa nga bang analyzation ang pwedeng gawin sa rainy days?

Madami! May naiisip ka na ba? O may oras ka nga ba para mag-isip.
Kung tutuusin, non sense, pero alam ko naman iyon.


##
isinulat ko ito para icelebrate ang “huling masayang weekend” ko. Naalala ko lang si prof rosanne sa pagsasabing: “enjoy your weekend, this might be the last…(weekend that you’re happy).” naapreciate ko ngang tunay at bilang isang mabuting iskolar, snusunod ko namn siya. :D simula na ng hell days pagkatapos nito.

bitter raindrops

I noticed that my eyes are getting unusually bigger. That only means two things: I am not my normal self at all and that I haven’t had enough sleep the past days. I actually miss my happy carefree self. Right now, I always get tired. Both my body and my brain are tired to hell.. but my brain is more tired I suppose because I don’t think it functions as properly as my body does.. maybe I get especially tired of striving, of thinking how to do it properly and in the manner sane in your eyes. If only I could keep all eyes from turning to me so that I wont have to watch myself anymore. I hate it so badly when people think they are better versions of people that when I try to make a list, I want tocrash some heads and powderize some bones. Oh my, now im acting a violent piece of cr*p… must be the effect of insanity running through each piece of neuron in my brain.

I got home past 8:30 this evening. The traffic was so heavy I almost lost my little space to breath. i got really hungry..

I haven’t heard the sound of my phone since cza and lei texted me after lunch time.. nothing really but it only seems unusual because I’m not in my usual texting when my phone’s subscribed to unli mode.. I just don’t feel like txting every one right now just to brag how pathetic I feel.

Im thinking about the weather. The weather’s ok today. Not too hot unlike a couple of days ago because the wind breeze kept on caressing my face when I walked on the streets around Nepo mall today. The raindrops are about to fall and the sky isn’t on its usual blue color. Its gray lifeless color seems to mark the end of a one hot but happy summer days. It makes me feel sad though, it adds up to my feel like crying melodrama because it feels that the earth sympathizes with what I feel. she’s waiting for my tears to fall down from my eyes to my cheeks because she knows by that time,she would have to send the rain down just so no one would see me crying…

I hate it when I ride jeepneys and strangers sit beside me. When I travel alone, which I always do, I usually make it to the point that I sit always beside the driver’s sit because there, I can act more carefree than when I stay at the back seats.. I feel like owning a place of my own sitting infront. but I so much hate when strangers sit beside me on that place which I seem to own.

rotten happiness

Today is May 14, 2006

Sabi na nga ba…

I should have refrained myself from becoming too happy.
Should have believed in my so-called instincts.

I am always afraid of becoming happy because I know what it means and I have proven it so many times already. It means unexpected sorrows. . .

The past few days, I was all happy. it seemed that happiness was almost perfect. Because I had so many reasons to. One clear reason that I can think of is my job. I love my job because I love all the people that I work with. And I also have come to love the Korean students that we teach. . .

Now, I feel sad. The rain is pouring outside now. The rainy days have started and the lonely moments of my life I think are also starting to infect me.

Last Wednesday I was with a friend/sis for a celebration of one lonely moment – I was working with her until she was sent away for only God knows what reason. I miss her nowadays… all of us miss actually miss her.

But unfortunately, today, all of us only means me and ate Lai. It seems like people are leaving without any reason at all.

Last Friday, another important person left. It makes us feel…. feel what? It’s actually hard to explain. I’m trying to come up with words but I couldn’t. hmmm…maybe I feel miserable.

I’m missin’ a lot of people… right now, I’m missin’ two people whom I used to work with, smile with and laugh with…huhuhu..:c. and its really difficult…

And now I am thinking. Hard.
And I’m really sad.


Because I actually have a lot of reasons to.

changing carrers

Today is April 23, 2006 What about changing careers? “know what’s weird? Day by day nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different. You just go about your business and one day you realize you’re not the same person you used to be. People change whether they decide to or not.” I just received this txt message from my best friend cza who is probably wandering on the corridors of UP Diliman right at this very moment and she probably misses me so badly (hehe) coz we’re supposed to spend the summer there together but circumstances did not allow me to. . . I am going to be in fourth year after this summer. One very last year and I’m done with college (kung magpapakabait ako ;D). but really, I was planning of changing career… I am currently working as an English teacher right now (believe it or not) and hell, I love my job! Not that I don’t like my course or being in college and all, but really, I am being overwhelmed with my being able to work with abot langit na compensation (of course for my age – am still young:). Pano ba nagsimula ang kareer ko? Si ces ang may simula. . . My friend Ces met this Korean businessman who was looking for some English tutor at school. Finals ata niya sa Chem 16 non. The moment Ces went home, she told us about that teacher teacher thing…using Malene’s phone (bcoz as usual, wlang lwd si marian), we texted the future boss..tapos ayun, he and his wife already wanted to meet us and all of a sudden, we’re hired!!!!! Magsstart na daw kme the next morning.. akalain mo yun?! Amazing noh?! Ayun, sa carmenville pala ang location ng work.. mejo malayo sha from my home pero tyaga tyaga lang.. pera yun eh. . . Waaa!!!! My new job na kame! Yes! And there I met kuya Mamerto and we became friends. He is the real cause of my changing career problem right now… hehe… joke lang… laki nga ng utang ng utang na loob ko sa kanya eh.. madami raket nya, kabi-kabila. Tas ako lang yung naaambunan.. hehe.. at iyon nga… start na ng totong career ko.. gusto ko ng iwan ang school for money.. kese feeling ko sobrang rare lang nitong opportunity.. pera.. think of big money!!!! Tama nga si Lei, pera daw ang nagmamanipulate sa akin…Eh ang school, kahit na kelan pede ko pa naman balikan, walang magbabago.. UP will always be the same UP kahit kelan pa ako mag aral dun db? What if… What if just work full time and leave school for a while? Naisip ko na din to minsan.. and am still thinking about this. . huhu.. Pretty soon surely, I have to change! (wheter I decide to or not). ## madami ako namimiss ngaun.

rest in *

Sa totoo lang, inaantok na ako.. gusto ko na rin na0an na talagang matulog.. my body is tired but my bra5n seem to not recognize it. its likr this, when I would let my self be emptyhanded and and prepare to close my eyes, As much as I want to write so many things here, my cognitive processes are not functuuing properly. Wla, andami ko kse experiences today na sobrang I want to document. The sem has reached its end. Wee!!! Sa wakes..tapos na ang napakadugong sem na nagdaan. Isa sa pinakamadugong sem sa buong buhay ko sa kolehiyo ang semester na ito for so many reasons. First reason ay ang dreadful na chemistry 16. at last at last! I am officially done with chemistry 16. and by the way, chem. Was sweeter on its second time around. Hehe.. this second time, na enjoy ko talaga ang chemistry.. as in kung dati, 100 % ang regrets ko about what happened, ngayon, 50% na lang. Siempre, hindi ko naman kase maalis ang mga oras na nasayang at mga perang nawaldas para lang ma take ko uli ang chem. Db??? Next reason, I am officially done with prof Davis’ psych 171. sa totoo lang sobra ko naman naenjoy ang subject kaya lang, sangkatutk ding pressure ang inabot ko dito!!! My golly!!! Walang tatalo. Muntik pa kame maincomplete ng partner ko kasama ng mga partners naming ng partner ko.. gulo noh?? Hehe.. may kapartner ang partnership naming ni Jen kse partner kme ng group ni Lab sa pagsuong ng pahirap na dala ng mga paper naming. Buti na lang si sir open minded enpugh to accept the fact na ang result naming ay siyang talagang result kahit anong tumbling pa ang gawin naming. Madami ding sleepless nights akong naexperience dahil sa 171 na ito… pero they are all worth it. at sa ngayon, at last. I am officially done!!! Yeey!! So, eto munang mga ito for this time.,. raraket muna ko para maging wonderful naman ang summer ko.. ####### 5th april habang nasa panikz ako ngayhon at iniinternalize na ang bakasuyon, andito pa rin ako sa napakainit na lugar ng pampanga. Kumusta na kaya ang mga friends ko sa aking hometown paniqui? Nakauwi na ri kaya sila fr their kanya kanyang chorva? At namimiss kaya nila ako dahil dapat andun ako pero wala ako dun??? As much as I want to go home, I cant. Huhu… I jave some important commitments to attend to..una ay ang aking work. Would you believe, English tutor ako??? Yah,