rotten happiness

Today is May 14, 2006

Sabi na nga ba…

I should have refrained myself from becoming too happy.
Should have believed in my so-called instincts.

I am always afraid of becoming happy because I know what it means and I have proven it so many times already. It means unexpected sorrows. . .

The past few days, I was all happy. it seemed that happiness was almost perfect. Because I had so many reasons to. One clear reason that I can think of is my job. I love my job because I love all the people that I work with. And I also have come to love the Korean students that we teach. . .

Now, I feel sad. The rain is pouring outside now. The rainy days have started and the lonely moments of my life I think are also starting to infect me.

Last Wednesday I was with a friend/sis for a celebration of one lonely moment – I was working with her until she was sent away for only God knows what reason. I miss her nowadays… all of us miss actually miss her.

But unfortunately, today, all of us only means me and ate Lai. It seems like people are leaving without any reason at all.

Last Friday, another important person left. It makes us feel…. feel what? It’s actually hard to explain. I’m trying to come up with words but I couldn’t. hmmm…maybe I feel miserable.

I’m missin’ a lot of people… right now, I’m missin’ two people whom I used to work with, smile with and laugh with…huhuhu..:c. and its really difficult…

And now I am thinking. Hard.
And I’m really sad.


Because I actually have a lot of reasons to.